Back in the game...

Sorry for the delay in new posts... It is a side effect of getting back to most of my old schedule...

I've been back at school teaching for the past 3 weeks, feeling stronger everyday. It feels great to be back at it! At first I rushed home for a 2 hour nap after teaching my classes, but by this week the naps have largely ended and I'm able to spend more time at school working... the timing is good, as this is one of our busiest seasons with large exhibitions, student projects and end of the year tasks fast approaching.

Hopefully I'll be able to bring my wet plate darkroom back to school next week for classroom demos and student portraits... this time last year I made two tintypes of my kids with their prom dates, and was pretty sure those would be the last pictures I would ever make. That was when I was looking at 10-12 months to live... it seems so long ago now, and clearly that's not how this is turning out - so far...

We've been working on getting back to our normal routines, visiting family and friends, cooking: we've suspended the wonderful Monday and Wednesday meals that this magical community has been bringing us all year; I lack the words to express how much the support and love that those meals brought us has helped... THANK YOU.

Since my conventional treatment has largely ended, the only proactive work I can continue is through diet, exercise and work with my naturapathic doctor. The goal is to keep my body's climate hostile to the spread of cancer while boosting my immune system to attack whatever may be left in me... From the beginning my naturapath has had me on a very healthy diet and on LOTS of supplements to boost my immune response while also affecting numerous blood factors that play a role in the spread and growth of cancer cells. ALL of my blood numbers have been improving steadily over the months from unhealthy levels to well below the desired levels, so while it's impossible to quantify what aspects of each of the various the treatments I've done has suppressed the cancer... I feel strongly that this is working... and it also feels good to have more work that I can focus on rather than just sit and wait for a scan in four months.

The hardest part of this phase of my condition is the mental game... I don't know if I have metastatic cancer that is slowly growing in my liver or lungs, OR if my treatments have worked and then the intraoperative radiation killed what was left of my growth and I am already cancer free. I need to get on with my life with the belief (hope) that I will survive, all the while knowing that at least statistically, I am still very likely to die within the next couple of years.

So right now, I'm happily moving forward looking forward to summer family time and projects, pleased to be treatment free, hoping and believing that the statistics have been defied and that I am free, but always with a little shadow of fear and doubt residing in the recesses of my resting mind...