Home Again...

Just as I felt I was gaining strength and health back from my long MGH stay, I woke up early on the Friday of my 50th b-day, feeling like I was going to die of chills and delirium......Monika's previous post describes the day nicely...

Birthdays have never meant very much to me, and this year all I wanted was to have a small meal with the handful of friends who saw me everyday at MGH and got me through the ordeal with their love and daily presence, so I could thank them for getting me to #50. So I'm glad I was still able to do it...

The rest of the 4 days were spent trying to determine specifically what type of infection I had and to see if there are any issues with the stents or surgical sites from the MGH work. Happily (so far) everything seems fine in the scans with all my previous issues so we are hoping that this is just a separate infection that will not have ramifications in an ongoing way.

I will be receiving 10 days of IV antibiotics at home with the help of a visiting home nurse service. They will train me how to administer the antibiotic and be on call to help with any issues that arise...

Even in the comfort of a single room, and with me having only a few medical things done to me each day; I realized how much I needed to be out of hospitals right now. I was starting to become anxious that I'd have to spend another couple of days until all test results were in, or worse, that they would send me back to MGH for observation. I need a chance to build my identity away from hospitals and sickness, and my being back in the hospital set me off. My stress was considerable, but luckily my local GP doctor came everyday to see me and he understood that I would heal better at home, so he made it happen. I still may end back at MGH with bigger issues, as we chose to go down a perilous road with lots of risks, but for now at least, it's back to quiet methodical healing and rebuilding in the sanctuary of my garden and home, hoping that this infection is unrelated to all my other issues and that I am on track to become healed...

Time will tell.