Looking ahead...

We met with my surgeon Tuesday at MGH and discussed the upcoming procedure... I'll be getting intraoperative radiation on March 3. The tumor is down to about an inch, and will allow them to put a cone onto it that will expose the entire growth to radiation, but spare surrounding tissue. If they don't find any metastasized cancer in other places as they go in, then they will remove my gallbladder and do some other plumbing related work, then zap the tumor directly for 1.5 minutes. The location of the growth in relation to the arteries in my gut make the removal of the tumor impossible, so there is no option for the whipple technique.

I will be in the hospital for about 5 days, then home recovering for another 3-6 weeks.

This procedure has a chance of killing ALL the cancer cells in the tumor, and represents a curative possibility for me. The surgeon told us that there is about a 6% chance of cure for people in my situation who are able to get this procedure. Considering the fact that the growth has been shrinking, we are hoping that any cancer cells floating free in my body have been killed by chemo and all the other work I've been doing, and that this gives me a solid chance to get out of this chapter of my life alive...

One disquieting fact is that this procedure represents the last operative or radiation procedure open to me through conventional medicine. If the cancer persists, my only options would be palliative chemo treatments to give me comfort and extend my days.

It's been almost 9 months since this odyssey began, and all my work has been to get to the next treatment option without having any doors to treatment close. It's a strange feeling to be at a place where my options have become finite, with the outcome still undetermined.

When I was diagnosed, I knew it was unlikely that I would ever get to this procedure, as my prospects were not good. The numbers suggested that I would die by this May or June. I wish I could just jump ahead 12 more months to see if I'm in the clear, but I know that the outcome to this journey may reveal itself in slow time, with my efforts having to continue into an uncertain future. I am pleased and grateful to be at this place, and am really looking forward to getting this done!

I have a week to get my classes prepared for my absence, and if things go well, I will be back to my old life by mid April, with plenty of time to teach, start spring seeds and plant the fruit trees I ordered a few months ago...